Name Your Fear
Last weekend I did two really big, personal things. The first is that I ran in a 50 mile relay with 4 other teammates, one being my husband. I’ve done this race off and on over the past 10 years, but not since having kids in 2020. The race is a popular one and takes place in Door County, Wisconsin. Due to its geographical location, the race is capped and spots fill within two days of registration opening…which happens to be 6 months prior to the race itself. So, 6 months ago I made the commitment, knowing I had a LOT of work to do to get to the start line. Leading to Thing Two – in order to do the race, I had to leave both of my children with grandparents overnight for the very first time.
It was an amazing weekend. One I needed so badly, and the first time I embraced my whole self fully in a very long time. AND my kids loved having a special sleepover with grandparents…AND grandparents loved being able to care for their grandchildren. Wins all around!
But I want to honest here: there was more mental than physical work that helped me get to this point. It took WORK. It took therapy, coaching, and practice.
And you know the thing that was most helpful for me to get past the barriers? It was naming exactly what I was afraid of, and following down that dark path for a bit in a safe and supportive environment. It took getting my fears outside of my head and into space so I could grapple with them and have strategies to help me when I would find myself wanting to back out.
As a medical mama, it took diving deep into feelings, behaviors, and reactions that I once needed to literally keep everyone safe, healthy, and alive, that had become ingrained in my daily life. Feelings, behaviors, and reactions that are no longer needed in the same way now that we are past some critical stages with my kids.
So how are YOU doing? Are you taking the time to embrace your whole self…or even just a tiny piece of yourself? Are you doing things that make you feel like YOU? Maybe you’re not ready to do something big yet…that’s ok! What is something small that you could do to start creating a path to your own heart?
Because parenting your child with a disability is the long game. In order to keep fighting for them, to keep them safe and healthy, to cope with the late nights driving to the Emergency Department for a cold that went sideways, or a dreaded phone call from school…to continue to run this marathon…you also need to take care of yourself.
Name your fear. What is getting in the way? Say it out loud to yourself, a loved one, a therapist, a coach. Write it down. Get it out of your head. Once it’s out there, it doesn’t feel quite so scary or overwhelming. Now it can be dealt with.
