Self-Advocacy Skill Building for Children with Disabilities
When you hear the word advocacy or self-advocacy, does your mind automatically jump to thinking about making government policy changes? Do you envision holding up a sign as you march in front of a government building, writing letters to your representatives, or bombarding their offices with phone calls demanding change? If it does, that’s only part of the picture. If you’re a sign-holding, email-sending, phone-call-making person, that's AMAZING. We need you. Please keep doing it.
If that’s not you (or you wish it was you, but you just don’t have the time or energy to be that person right now…or it IS you and you hope there’s something more than can be done) I’m here to share some tips with you about what self-advocacy can look like in other contexts. Specifically, I’m going to share ways you can help your child with a disability build independence and self-determination skills through self-advocacy.
First, what is self-advocacy?
One definition from www.understood.org that resonates with me is this: the ability to communicate what your needs are.
Self-advocacy means that you can speak up and stand up for yourself. That you are the one who can make decisions and choices based on what you want or need. That you are in the driver's seat to determine and carry out, with whatever supports are needed, the goals you want to reach.
When should I start working on self-advocacy skills with my child?
When your child is young, the advocacy part lies in large part with you: the parent or guardian. However, as your child grows the process of passing along choices, decision-making, and self-determination should be passed along to them. There is no set timeline or “best” time to begin this work. It will depend on your child’s abilities and development. It may depend on their communication skills or access to devices that are necessary for them to express themselves.
Ways your child can show or tell you what they want or need:
Pointing or reaching for an item
Looking (eye-gaze) at something
Saying a word, phrase, or sentence about what they want
Using an AAC device to communicate their needs
Getting upset, looking away, or moving away if they are given something they don’t want
My suggestion is that you try, in small ways and over time, to pass along as many opportunities for choice and autonomy as you can at all stages of their life. Adjust the lists below to fit your child’s development, but also don’t be afraid to push a little and see what can happen. Our children often have a way of surprising us with how much they are capable of, especially when it comes to their own desire for independence and decision-making!
Self-Advocacy Skill Building Opportunities at Home:
Allow your child to choose their outfit for the day
Have them choose a meal they like once a week
Guide them to ask for help with something before you step in to assist (ie. you see them struggling, so you can say “I’m here to help if you need it, just ask” or “Would you like help?” – follow their request)
Role play scenarios in which they practice communicating “No.” or “Stop.”
Self-Advocacy Skill Building Opportunities at School:
Encourage your child to seek out adults to help them (you may have to help facilitate this, but try not to handle all communication/problem solving without your child being involved in some capacity)
Create a list with your child of their strengths and areas where they need more support
Allow them to choose what they want for lunch (whether provided through the school or brought from home)
Start or continue the conversation about their disability and how the IEP is meant to help them succeed
Self-Advocacy Skill Building Opportunities in the Community:
Allow your child to pick 1-2 items to add to a shopping list
Guide them to seek out or ask for help from appropriate people in the community (ie. a Police Officer, an employee at a store, etc) - you can also model this by verbalizing your actions: “Hmm, I can’t seem to find the cereal we like. Let’s ask someone for help…”
Let your child choose which park to play at
Follow your child’s lead when they want to start/stop playing with another child at a park or playgroup
Allow your child to pick what they want to order from a restaurant (you may need to limit their choices due to overwhelm or overstimulation, dietary needs, etc, but do your best to let them make the final decision about what they’d prefer)
Information Overload?
This is a lot to think about and digest. Let’s nip the overwhelm in the bud, and start with just one of the three areas above. Go ahead, pick just one area. Now pick just one bullet point that sounds like the easiest or most fun to implement. Over the next week, see how often you can implement this choice to your child. You got this!
